The Power of Advertising

This month's guest blogger is Hannah Aron. She currently interning with the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse (the organization that runs AWARE) and recently graduated from the University of Maryland.

TRIGGER WARNING: This content includes graphic images and may be triggering to some people.

Advertisements surround us. Whether we are at home watching TV, at the grocery store, or even at school, we cannot escape them. Advertisements are constantly selling us something, whether it be a product, an idea, or a lifestyle. And advertisers are good at it – they tap right into our insecurities and desires for their gain. But what happens when this incredible ability to pinpoint and connect with human emotions is used to help rather than sell?

 

While binge-reading BuzzFeed articles, as is typical when I am procrastinating, I came across a list of “The Most Brutal Domestic Violence Awareness Ads” from across the world which did just that. These 12 advertisements used graphic imagery to confront some of the many misconceptions about domestic abuse while also providing resources for those affected. As a psychology major who volunteered in a domestic violence shelter, I was immediately engrossed. After reviewing the list, I wanted to share the three that stood out to me the most:

From Lebanon (#1):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At first glance, these women are suffering from painful physical wounds. Yet, when you look a bit closer, you come to realize that this ad is actually expressing an alternative and less visible point. The wounds on their faces are actually shaped like the sound waves of the violent words used to cause them pain. Although it took me a second to piece it together, I think this advertisement is effective in making the pain of verbal abuse unmistakable. By equating it to cuts and bruises, this ad tells us, the audience, that cruel words can be abuse too.

From Singapore (#6):

In my opinion, this one is the most visually interesting and sticks with me long after seeing it. The ad shows a woman being physically abused at different stages in her life, to depict the cycle of violence that can occur throughout a person’s life. In 2006, Krause, Kaltman, Goodman, and Dutton found that about 37% of women reported intimate partner violence revictimization from an index partner within a year of reaching out for help for the abuse, yet this statistic could be up to 56% with the inclusion of revictimization from a new partner.[i]

From Germany (#10):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This ad seen at bus stops in Germany had to make my list. It is the most technologically advanced ad and is an especially accurate portrayal of domestic violence. When the eye-tracking camera detects that your eyes are looking directly at the image, the picture illustrates the perfect couple. Then as you begin to turn away, the ad transforms into a graphic image of a male abuser hurting a female victim since, as they say, “It happens when nobody is watching.” This ad really speaks to the secretive and silent nature of domestic violence, illustrating the fact that you often do not know if abuse is happening in a relationship simply based on appearance.

Even though I believe that these ads are making great progress in educating the public about domestic violence resources and urging victims and their supporters to speak up, there are a few important pieces are missing. First, based on the list on BuzzFeed, a reader might come away with the understanding that only women are victims and only men are perpetrators – this is simply not the case. Although the rate of physical intimate partner violence among women is 1 in 3, the statistic is 1 in 7 among male victims.[ii] Additionally, almost all of the couples featured in these domestic violence advertisements illustrated heterosexual relationships despite the fact that the lifetime occurrence of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking in same-sex couples is almost the same or higher than in heterosexual couples.[iii] While I understand that the majority of victims are women and in heterosexual relationships, these marginalized minority victim populations need these ads and the media to speak to them even more because they are less likely to report the abuse. Being marginalized means that there are fewer resources available and even greater stigma is attached to the abuse. I urge advertisers and organizations across the globe to reach out to male victims and same-sex couples to highlight resources that are available and to validate their suffering. By doing so, we can extend our support and understanding to those people who might not receiving help otherwise.

 

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[i] Iverson, K. M., Litwack, S. D., Pineles, S. L., Suvak, M. K., Vaughn, R. A., & Resnick, P. A. (2013). Predictors of Intimate Partner Violence Revictimization: The Relative Impact of Distinct PTSD Symptoms, Dissociation, and Coping Strategies. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 26, 102-103. 

[ii] Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 43.

[iii] Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

An Intern's Point-of-View

This summer we were very lucky to have five amazing college and high school student interns working on AWARE. We asked one of our interns, Amanda, to share her thoughts on her experience at the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse (the organization that runs AWARE).

My decision to become an intern at JCADA was the result of a very common search process. I typed in, “non profits in Rockville, Maryland” on Google and a list appeared. There are two main factors that drew me to this organization.

First, I am very interested in pressing issues. As I am writing this I find it hard to put into words what the drive is behind my desire to help people. I wanted an experience, not just something to pass the time. This seemed out of the norm. It broke me out of my daily routine.

My next reason is something that I haven’t spoken much about before. As a born and raised Christian girl, I grapple with my understandings of God, religion, and what I truly believe. I’ve been nervous to break free from the mold of what I’ve been taught. The fact that it is the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse did play a role in my choice.  I don’t know much about the Jewish faith, although I have had Jewish friends throughout my life. In a way, taking this internship meant I was stepping outside of my comfort zone. The internship helped me become more comfortable with saying to myself, “It’s great to experience something new. It’s important to question your faith and draw from other sources on your search for what you as an individual believe in.” I’ve always been one to be honest with myself.

Both of these reasons led me to make an excellent choice this summer. I emailed JCADA and after a few weeks found out I would be a summer intern. My experience as a JCADA intern has not only been rewarding, but educational in a way that I doubt I could have attained sitting in a class. I developed a whole new array of skills. I improved my writing, my ability to make judgment calls, my discipline to get work done and my professionalism. What is more, I really felt as though I was doing something for the greater good. Even though I did not work directly with clients, my efforts were beneficial to the organization that is providing support and education to the community.

During this experience I have had the chance to learn from and interact with the work I was doing. Many a time I have asked questions about dating violence to Leah (my supervisor) as I worked on the It’s Not Love workshop materials.

“But, can you suggest that you think breaking up with their partner would be the best decision?”

“How do parents figure out if their child is going to break up with an abusive partner if they’re not supposed to mention that they think that would be the best course of action?”

These are just a couple of my inquiries. And, the best part about my experience is that I have learned so much about this issue in case I ever need this information down the road in my life. I am a much more informed person.

JCADA was an absolute blessing in my life. I will always remember my experience and I encourage anyone reading this to get involved with this issue in whatever way, no matter how small. Being informed will better prepare you as you enter into new relationships of your own, or as you watch those around you.

~ Amanda Grolig, Summer 2013 High School Intern

Learning that "It's Not Love"

 This month's post is a guest blog and was written by Emily Schreck, an intern at Tikkun Olam Women's Foundation. Emily is a sophomore at the University of Maryland and is studying Family Sciences and Women’s Studies. This post originally appeared online at http://towf.org/blog/. The Tikkun Olam Women's Foundation provides a generous grant to support the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse's teen dating abuse prevention initiative, AWARE. "It's Not Love" is the cornerstone workshop of AWARE.

Posted on July 3, 2013

Emily and her chapter in their chapter spirit wear.

It was a typical Saturday night and I was headed to my BBYO program. I pulled up in my car and quickly made my way inside. I had entered our chapter’s annual Kallah, a weekend full of Jewish programming to strengthen my chapter’s sisterhood and leadership skills. As a past president of my chapter, I had read the outline of the programs, but did not really know what to expect until I was immersed in the programming.

When I walked in, just a bit late, my friends were already intently listening to a representative from the Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse (JCADA). The woman introduced herself and the program that we were participating in called “It’s Not Love,” developed by JCADA.  I knew the woman had caught their attention because it was rare that the room would be that quiet. She explained that “It’s Not Love” is based on the concept that if you educate teenage girls about healthy relationships, then abusive relationships in the future can be avoided. Through “It’s Not Love,” JCADA is working to “raise a generation of strong, confident women who will not accept violence in their lives nor in the Jewish community.” This generation will also be able to recognize the warning signs with friends or family and be able to share the resources they were introduced to during the program. The specific program is geared towards the age group and “is a choose-your-own-path workshop” in which participants assume the role of a character who is either in an abusive relationship or a witness to one.

I am grateful that I have not personally, nor have any of my close friends, faced dating violence. Although I have been this lucky, many have not. Recently I read the story of 18-year-old Lauren Dunne Astley, whose life was taken abruptly by her abusive ex-boyfriend. The story was hard for me to read. Among indecisive teenagers, break-ups are relativity common. But, they should end with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and a dramatic reality TV show, not the death of one of the parties involved. In her honor, Lauren’s parents recently pleaded to the Massachusetts state legislators that education is the key to the prevention of teen dating violence.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 10% of teenagers experience some form of violence their in dating relationships. That means in a high school classroom of about thirty students, more than three of them have been abused by a partner. As the CDC reports, dating violence can been seen in many different forms including, but not limited to emotional, physical and sexual abuse. This violence can lead to depression, drug and alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts, poor performance in school, eating disorders, future abuse and even death in extreme cases such as Lauren Dunne Astley’s. It has been argued that solutions to this issue can be found in educational programs such as “It’s Not Love.”

With grants from Tikkun Olam Women’s Foundation, “It’s Not Love” has reached more than 2,100 different students in the D.C. Metro Area. Tikkun Olam Women’s Foundation’s mission is to fund organizations who “create social change for women and girls,” through grant-making. With the generous grants awarded to JCADA from TOWF, they have been able to develop “It’s Not Love,” in order to education young women about dating violence. Young women and girls, like myself and my friends at BBYO, will learn what is acceptable and what is not in a dating relationship. Women and girls will learn that teddy bears should be given as happy day gifts and break-ups should include Ice Cream induced tummy aches.

    

Sources:

Allen, Evan. “For Grieving Parents, Education the Key.” BostonGlobe.com. N.p., 15 May 2013. Web. 13 June 2013.

“Aware: It’s Not Love.” Aware. Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse, n.d. Web. 13 June 2013.

“When Teen Dating Turns Abusive and Violent.” US News. U.S.News & World Report, 10 May 2013. Web. 13 June 2013.

The Reality of Victim-Blaming

By Claire Bernstein, JCADA Intern

Last August, a high school girl from Steubenville, Ohio was raped by two boys from her high school’s football team at a party. Not only did these boys violate her body, but many people at the party took pictures of the incident and posted them on social media sites. In response to this case, many people shared their opinions about the girl and her actions that night. One person on Twitter said “I’m not saying she asked for it, but why did she consume so much alcohol in the first place?”

 

Are they making excuses for the football players? How do you think statements like this affect the victim? Whether the Twitter user meant to or not, this person is blaming the victim for what happened.

Victim-blaming occurs when someone blames a victim of violence for what has happened to him/her. Just like in this Twitter post, victim-blaming can take on many forms and we often see people in the media blaming victims for violence, or having a bias against the victim. To go back to another case that was all over the media -- many people blamed Rihanna when Chris Brown physically assaulted her. Following the incident, some people claimed that Rihanna provoked Chris Brown to hit her and that she deserved to be hit by him. In addition, people continued to say the abuse was Rihanna’s fault because she chose to get back together with Chris Brown.

If a friend is in an abusive relationship, we may try to come up with reasons why they are experiencing an unhealthy relationship in order to try to make sense of what we are seeing. We may even begin thinking of things that our friend has done to justify his/her partner’s bad behaviors. This is called victim-blaming.

The fear of being blamed can make victims even more scared to tell other people about the abuse. If a friend hears us victim-blaming someone in a news story (i.e. girl from Steubenville), they may be hesitant to talk to us because they are worried we will accuse them of causing the abuse. In addition, when we blame a victim for abuse, s/he may begin to blame themselves and feel responsible for their unhealthy relationship. They may also feel that they have to change their behaviors to please the abuser. 

Victim-blaming lets the abusive partner off the hook and minimizes their role in the abuse. The culture of victim-blaming also does not empower friends of the abusive partner to speak up when they are worried. Abusers need to realize that they are not treating their partner right and it is never okay to hurt another person.  

It is important to understand that abuse is never the victim’s fault. Abuse and violence are always the fault of the person who is being violent or abusive. It is important to reassure our friend that the abuse is not their fault and that they do not deserve to be treated poorly by a partner. 

There are many positive ways to help a friend who is in an abusive relationship including the following:

• Listen and believe what s/he tells you. 
• Acknowledge you friend’s feelings. Don’t tell him/her how he or she should feel. 
• Let them know if you are concerned for their safety. 
• Do not judge or make victim-blaming statement like “You’re stupid to stay with him” or “Why do you let him/her treat you like this?”

Healthy Relationships For Everyone

By Claire Bernstein, JCADA Intern

Dating is supposed to be a fun, new, and exciting experience. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship and it is important to look for a partner that brings out the best in you. Make sure to look for someone who:

• Treats you with respect.
• Encourages you to spend time with your friends or family.
• Listens to your ideas and knows how to compromise.
• Is positive and optimistic.
• Shares some of your interests such as movies, sports, reading, dancing or music.
• Isn’t afraid to share their thoughts and feelings.
• Is comfortable around your friends and family.
• Is proud of your accomplishments and successes.
• Respects your boundaries and your privacy.
• Doesn’t make fun of things you like or want to do.
• Is caring and honest.
• Encourages you to do well in school or at work.
• Understands the importance of healthy relationships.

All relationships should be healthy ones, regardless of sexual orientation.  As Break the Cycle teaches us, “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) youth experience dating abuse at the same rates and in similar ways as heterosexual couples do. In fact, one in three young people -- straight, gay and everyone in between -- experience some form of dating abuse.” While all relationships should be healthy, there are a few additional characteristics we would like to add to the list above when it applies to LGBTQ relationships. Make sure to also look for someone who:

• Respects your chosen gender pronouns or name.
• Supports your choices regarding your sexual orientation.
• Never threatens to out you to your friends and family members.
• Never tells you you’re not a real lesbian, gay man, trans person or whatever you identify as.

We often look to other couples as our role models for healthy relationships. We challenge you to think about what couples exemplify a strong, healthy relationship. Is it your parents, a celebrity couple, a couple from a movie or TV show? Couples such as Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, Beyonce and Jay-Z, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, Michelle and Barack Obama, and Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka can provide us with great examples of how you and your partner should treat each other. Although it is sometimes hard to find examples of healthy relationships in the media, we should always promote positive qualities and healthy characteristics in relationships.

JCADA encourages you to be AWARE of how healthy your dating relationships are. If you want help understanding how you can apply healthy qualities to your relationship, contact JCADA at 1-877-88-JCADA(52232).  Also, check out Break the Cycle, for more resources on healthy LGBTQ relationships.