Healthy Relationships For Everyone

By Claire Bernstein, JCADA Intern

Dating is supposed to be a fun, new, and exciting experience. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship and it is important to look for a partner that brings out the best in you. Make sure to look for someone who:

• Treats you with respect.
• Encourages you to spend time with your friends or family.
• Listens to your ideas and knows how to compromise.
• Is positive and optimistic.
• Shares some of your interests such as movies, sports, reading, dancing or music.
• Isn’t afraid to share their thoughts and feelings.
• Is comfortable around your friends and family.
• Is proud of your accomplishments and successes.
• Respects your boundaries and your privacy.
• Doesn’t make fun of things you like or want to do.
• Is caring and honest.
• Encourages you to do well in school or at work.
• Understands the importance of healthy relationships.

All relationships should be healthy ones, regardless of sexual orientation.  As Break the Cycle teaches us, “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) youth experience dating abuse at the same rates and in similar ways as heterosexual couples do. In fact, one in three young people -- straight, gay and everyone in between -- experience some form of dating abuse.” While all relationships should be healthy, there are a few additional characteristics we would like to add to the list above when it applies to LGBTQ relationships. Make sure to also look for someone who:

• Respects your chosen gender pronouns or name.
• Supports your choices regarding your sexual orientation.
• Never threatens to out you to your friends and family members.
• Never tells you you’re not a real lesbian, gay man, trans person or whatever you identify as.

We often look to other couples as our role models for healthy relationships. We challenge you to think about what couples exemplify a strong, healthy relationship. Is it your parents, a celebrity couple, a couple from a movie or TV show? Couples such as Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, Beyonce and Jay-Z, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, Michelle and Barack Obama, and Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka can provide us with great examples of how you and your partner should treat each other. Although it is sometimes hard to find examples of healthy relationships in the media, we should always promote positive qualities and healthy characteristics in relationships.

JCADA encourages you to be AWARE of how healthy your dating relationships are. If you want help understanding how you can apply healthy qualities to your relationship, contact JCADA at 1-877-88-JCADA(52232).  Also, check out Break the Cycle, for more resources on healthy LGBTQ relationships.